CIO Chief Idiot Officer / IDIOT
Remote
We're Hiring: Chief Idiot Officer (CIO)
Location: Right behind the couch
Type: Full-Time Foolishness | Department: Executive Chaos
📝 About Us
We don't just sell furniture — we rearrange lives. From sofas that swallow your guests to tables that mysteriously wobble on flat floors, we’re the masters of curated comfort. Now we need someone just as bold and brave to lead from the top… or at least from the beanbag.
👔 About the Role
As our new Chief Idiot Officer, you’ll proudly:
- Ask obvious questions in meetings — loudly.
- Unplug random cables “just to see what happens.”
- Confuse CRM with IKEA's furniture model numbers.
- Approve things you don’t understand (and never will).
- Boldly propose turning the breakroom into a TikTok studio.
🔍 What We're Looking For
- A Master's in Miscommunication or equivalent life experience.
- Proven track record of confidently making questionable decisions.
- Ability to say “Let’s circle back” with a straight face.
- Passion for swivel chairs and pushing all the elevator buttons.
📦 What We Offer
- A desk (sometimes).
- Unlimited access to the office fridge (bring your own food).
- A company title that looks really impressive on business cards.
- Regular team-building exercises like “Who deleted the inventory?”
🚨 Serious Note:
This position is a parody — but if you’re a bold, creative leader with the guts to innovate, fail, and try again (and maybe laugh along the way), we might just need a real CIO (Chief Innovation Officer). Either way — hit that Apply button!
💥 Apply now. Or don’t. We’ll probably forget we posted this by tomorrow.
Responsibilities
- Lead the entire sales cycle
- Achieve monthly sales objectives
- Qualify the customer needs
- Negotiate and contract
- Master demos of our software
Must Have
- Bachelor Degree or Higher
- Passion for software products
- Perfect written English
- Highly creative and autonomous
- Valid work permit for Belgium
Nice to have
- Experience in writing online content
- Additional languages
- Google Adwords experience
- Strong analytical skills
What's great in the job?
- Great team of smart people, in a friendly and open culture
- No dumb managers, no stupid tools to use, no rigid working hours
- No waste of time in enterprise processes, real responsibilities and autonomy
- Expand your knowledge of various business industries
- Create content that will help our users on a daily basis
- Real responsibilities and challenges in a fast evolving company
Our Product
What We Offer
Each employee has a chance to see the impact of his work.
You can make a real contribution to the success of the company.
Several activities are often organized all over the year, such as weekly
sports sessions, team building events, monthly drink, and much more
Perks
A full-time position
Attractive salary package.
Trainings
12 days / year, including
6 of your choice.
Sport Activity
Play any sport with colleagues,
the bill is covered.
Eat & Drink
Fruit, coffee and
snacks provided.
